Sunday, October 03, 2010

Sleepovers

We recently decided that we weren't going to do sleepovers anymore. Dominic had his first sleepover when he was 6 (other than staying with his Dad in Alaska). In the back of my mind, I wondered if sleepovers were a good idea but pushed that thought aside. I decided that I was being overprotective and that keeping a close guard on which families he could do sleepovers with would ease that "uneasiness" I was feeling (he only stayed with a couple of families that we felt VERY comfortable with). However, with each passing year since then, the feeling has never gone away.

A month or so ago, Sean and I re-visited the idea of sleepovers and how we felt about them. It became quite clear that we were both uneasy with it and we decided to take a step back. Taking steps back is not easy with kids. Steps back, when they have already enjoyed the freedoms, are a hard change. However, Dominic seemed to be in agreement, that the best place for him was at our house at night. We explained that we couldn't ignore the feelings we were having about sleepovers.

This, however, didn't go over well with one family he usually has the sleepovers with. They wondered if they did something wrong. I felt bad, because I couldn't explain myself in a way that would leave them without wonder.....yet when Sean and I re-discussed the subject again, we AGAIN felt firm in our decision and that it was the right one to make. The family came to understand, but I hurt some feelings along the way. I really didn't mean to. Because of this, in my mind there was still a little doubt....am I making a big deal of nothing?

Until I listened to General Conference today...... (particularly at about 7.28 in the audio)


Thank you Elder Lawrence. I know we don't have a teenager yet, but we needed to hear that. It was a further testimony to me that the decision we made was the right one and that the feelings we were having were valid.

6 comments:

Katy said...

for the record, my children will NEVER have sleepovers... I'm with you all the way

Natalie said...

I find it hard to explain things to others out here without hurting feelings. When I say that I just feel that it is something I need to do they look at me funny. Sometimes I wish I was back in Utah for that reason alone. People there seemed to be easier with the "It's just how I feel" explanation. Good for you for sticking with it and what a stellar son you have for agreeing! But then we always knew that.

Ben said...

That was a great talk. He said a lot of things that needed to be said.

Nikki said...

I totally agree. I loved that talk and I'm so glad I never have to question my feelings on that topic...it couldn't be any clearer after that great talk! Good for you guys for following the promptings!

Wilkins Clan said...

This has been a question in our home for years. Kirk and I have always been against them also. At P and D's moms house she never thought it was a big deal. our Bishop is against them and it took years for it to be drilled home that we just do not do them even at aunts and uncles houses. Good for you both for making a choice now while he is still young and flexible. Also what a good sweet boy!!

Kimberly said...

We made the no sleepover decision when Hayden was a baby. We both feel strongly about it. I know a lot of families feel the same way. Some of our friends joke that we're too over-protective, but so be it.

We've decided that if Hayden is invited to a sleepover we might have extra work to do like letting him hang out with the kids and picking him up at night and even dropping him back off in the morning for breakfast and a few more hours of hanging out. We're willing to do this so he's not excluded but doesn't have to actually sleep over.